Sharing is caring?

A few days ago, one of my followers on twitter asked a question to the masses about what is the most important attribute in a relationship. Is it more important to have shared values between significant others or having shared interest?

Obviously, to have some resemblance of a relationship you'd need some degree of both. But what if for your next significant other you could only choose one or the other?

They love each other and they both love wine! Get it!

Having a shared value system or similar values is incredibly important because you want to have an idea of what people believe in. If you want to build something concrete with the people you're dating, its safe to say that you might be interested in knowing what makes them tick.

But I don't think its the most important thing in deciding who you'd date. Nor would I choose it over having shared interest.

Why? Well relationships are about transforming. Whether we admit it or not, people change in the relationships that they enter; be it for the better or for the worse. We may not always want to admit it, but with another person, we change our beliefs, strengthen them and ultimately grow. People learn things about themselves and about the world in the company of others. And more importantly, the values that you have may not completely align with the person you're dating or *gasp* the person whom you are married to.

You can both go to the same church and believe in talking about you problems via communication, but if you think the Dutch trilogy is an intellectually stimulating crime series and your mate likes Easy Rollings and Dean Koontz, you won't be on the same page. But while we know a love of Young Jeezy music and "The Game" tv show won't keep a relationship going, having something to talk about and taking an interest in the person you dates interest will. You may never agree with your partner on the true borders for Israel & Palestine and who should be in control of Jerusalem, but caring about some of the same interest may be the glue to keep things together during those ideological conflicts that go on so often in relationships.

The argument may never be actual bloodfeuds like Israel/Palestine, but those real "belief wars" almost feel like it. And while they're bound to come up, its the little things like you both enjoying the same type of books, or ice cream that can be the glue to fixing the fractures in any relationship.